Sunday, March 29, 2015

Geekdom Madness 2015: Preferred Nomenclature/House of Villains

This week: A Disney Drag-Out and a couple of titles.







Let's meet the combatants:

MATCH 1: Preferred Nomenclature



THE BRIDE




a.k.a. Beatrix Kiddo a.k.a. Black Mamba a.k.a. Mommy, she is the deadliest woman in the world. Once the premiere member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, she tried to leave the business when she discovered she was expecting. Unfortunately, she neglected to actually tell her boss and lover Bill, so thinking she betrayed him he and the fellow D.iV.A.S. beat her nearly to death at her wedding rehearsal. After waking up from a four-year coma, she went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a Roaring Rampage of Revenge.

Pros
* Highly proficient with katanas, and owns the finest one legendary swordsmith Hattori Hanzo ever made.
* Under the tutelage of the notorious Pei Mei, she became one of the most deadly kung-fu practitioners in the world.
* Singularly determined and inhumanly durable.

Cons
* While she has a code of honor (such as avoiding mixing children up in her work), she is not above torture and other nastiness to get what she wants.
* Can sometimes underestimate her opponants.
* While her revenge is justified, she was an assassin by trade and it does take a certain amorality to kill people for money.




THE DUDE



a.k.a. Jeffrey Lebowski (no, not that one), The Dude simply wants to be the Dude. Go bowling with his friends, enjoy a White Russian and perhaps a joint. However, when you share your name with a high-profile billionaire, sometimes un-Dude-like things happen to you, and before you know it someone pees on your rug - among other things, sure, but it REALLY tied the room together...

Pros
* In general a pretty amicable and accepting person.
* Genuinely likes to do the right thing.
* A decent bowler.

Cons
* Is arguably the laziest man in Los Angeles County (which puts him in the running for laziest worldwide).
* A major stoner, and possibly an alcoholic.
* He really hates the #$^!ing Eagles, man!


***


MATCH 2: House of Villains



MALEFICENT



The Mistress of All Evil is a dark fairy who simply delights in being petty and seeing people suffer. If you snub her for a party, she'll crash it just to put a death curse on your baby daughter. There have been attempts to poke into her background and find a reason for her actions, but fairies are very mysterious.

Pros
* Immensely powerful magic.
* Thanks to her raven, has eyes everywhere.
* Can become a dragon at will.

Cons
* Extremely petty
* Can be over-dramatic.
* Aside from her raven, her other minions leave a lot to be desired.





SCAR



The younger brother of Mufasa, king of the Pridelands, he becomes upset at always playing second-fiddle when he truly wants to rule. The birth of his nephew - and heir to the throne - spurs him to finally remove all of his obstacles to what he feels he deserves.

Pros
* Being a lion, he has agility on his side (not to mention a lot of sharp and pointies).
* Charismatic enough to recruit the disenfranchised Hyenas to his cause.
* As far as brains go, he's got the lion's share.

Cons
* When it comes to brute strength, he's at the shallow end of the gene pool (compared to the rest of the Pride, anyway).
* Willing to murder not only his brother, but his young nephew to get what he wants.
* While he makes a good figurehead, he absolutely sucks at any level of administration.



***


Final Verdict
I have a feeling that Match 2 is going to come down to which villain each voter grew up with, as they both have large fanbases (even shared in some cases). As for Match 1, The Dude has a much bigger and far more fanatic following, but The Bride should never be written off - being one of the strongest female leads in modern cinema surely counts for something.

As always, make sure you're viewing the WEB version of the site and vote in the polls (remember, there are two now) on the right-hand side of the screen. Polls close Friday, and results posted on Saturday. Feel free to discuss your picks in the comments below. 




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